a new year a new vision a same you πγ°π
a new year a new vision a same you
Hi welcome to this experiment. I wanted an excuse to write more and IΒ like getting emails from friends and using alternative venues for art. Welcome to this experiment.
I am terrible at reflecting and digesting the world around me. So taking the opportunity when the whole world is summarizing their year is a good way to make meΒ sit with myself.Β Not only do we have the opportunity to reflect on our last most recent earth spin of 365 days. But an opportunity to survey the last decade. The last 3650 days. But then also every day, every 365 minutes, or seconds, all new new new constantly constantly constantly. A new opportunity to reflect. A new portal. A new shift. A new centre. A new middle. 2020 also offers the unique and very special opportunity to declare a vision, a 2020 vision if you will. Because I like things to be lofty and woo-woo but also dumb jokes. This balance is something I shall continue to cultivate for myself over the next decade.Β
In the last ten years my parents divorced, my family became a blended family (the largest most unconditional love in my life that was born from something so painful, what is this life?!). I graduated high school, I graduated from university, I graduated from a yoga teacher training, and then two more movement teacher qualifications after that. I met friends I know I will have for the rest of my life. I lost friends that I thought I would know for the rest of my life. Then also love and death and birth and sex and instagram and the universe. All the things that make time feel measurable and quantifiable.Β
Change and I do not have a fun relationship, I dislike it so densely. But I also love throwing everything in the garbage and burning it all and being impulsive. Change is nice when it's on our terms and change is painful when we are asked to step into something unknown. New Years is a funny balance of those things. To choose how to celebrate or not celebrate or reflect or protest reflection. Taking change from earth-shattering, rug pulling thing, and reframing it as a portal, a threshold, a doorway, frame, cusp. To take a moment to take stock and stride through the portal as an entrance toΒ change, or a threshold of more ofΒ the same.Β
Can we teeter on the cusp of a moment and set how we want to step into Thursday, the same job, the same you, and take stock?Β
So on the cusp of another portal, be gentle. There will be portals and Wednesdays after this that can explode your whole life, or feel as mundane as any other moment. Sit in the unknown of newness or sameness. I don't know what feelings are resonate in you. So maybe we can just sit.
What are you sowing?
What are you weeding?Β
What are you growing?Β
What are you sitting in?
I am spending today filling out my 2020 YearCompass. Last year I made it is far as printing it out and using it as a rag when I spilt water watering my plants. There are no rules to reflecting or life, there is just trying in whatever way you want to or can. I am a human doing my best with the best that I have. I do know that in 2019 I wanted to start sewing again and bought my self a sewing class on Jan 2nd 2019 and did that. Accountability and commitment to self! Maybe I'll buy another sewing class for myself today too.Β
You are everything. Everything is you. To be a human alive in the universe experiencing the ebb and flow of time. Wow. We are lucky. I love you.
xxΒ
phoebe