racing into the abyss 🕳
there is no finish line
THERE IS NO FINNISH LINE. This is the thing I say over and over in my head (and sometimes out loud). You cannot be behind because THERE IS NO END. This is a highly important mantra/reminder/thing that helps me be mildly ok.
I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with work which is something I do not like saying out loud because I fear it will make me seem 1. Ungrateful for the work and things I do get to do, and 2. Fearful that people won’t connect me with the opportunities I would LOVE. 3. I feel like I’m being a fake because I love talking about chillin and wellness and rest.
My strategy for overwhelm is to typically just keep ticking things off my to-do. In the hopes that when I finally finish I’ll feel ~at peace~. This does not work for me. The to-do never ends. There is always another email, or notification, or change, or someone that wants to get a coffee. My strategy has to change. And I think that strategy is to notice when overwhelm is percolating and removing yourself from work. Â
This has been the thing that I only care about in my artistic practice recently. I think the reason I am so obsessed with it is because I’m terrible at it. I think that this is the hardest thing for most humans most days.Â
This is why there is no finish line. There is no complete. There is no end to the idea of work. In capitalism, there is only work. The rest is just the internet and Instagram.Â
Thanks for reading my weird experiment this week. Last week there was no experiment but means that there was an experiment because everything is an experiment and life is art. Yah feel?
i love you,
phoebe