feelings are our superpowers 〰️✨🌱
Pressing your face up to the windows of the Gage park greenhouse even though it's closed is a great example of being strange, being bored, and being ok.
I went to an all-girls camp when I was a kid that I mostly enjoyed but also hated. It was kinda fancy, which made no sense because it was still just a camp and we were only allowed to shower once a week. It was fancy in the way that fancy people went there and I was not a fancy person. A model for Seventeen magazine lived two cabins over, she got picked up by a helicopter to go to a shoot mid-summer once and everyone waved at her on the swimming dock. I always have a hard time describing this camp in a few sentences, it requires an entire novel to depict the strange world my parents sent me too that I 1000% did not fit into. I walked into my tent one day and flopped onto the cot and told my bunkmates Claire and Clara (they were best friends) that I was bored. Claire stopped applying the 10 step Clinique skincare line she brought with her and turned around to tell me that "only boring people get bored". Those words cut right through me. I wasn't a boring person!
I have been thinking of Claire's words all week. Remember a few weeks ago when I talked about how much I wanted space and time to create? Well, holy shit is it here and I am BORED, HALLELUJAH! In all of this, I am trying to remember the gifts. The opportunity to get bored, to be sick of your loved ones around you, to miss others or miss sitting in a coffee shop. Boredom is the capacity and time to feel. To feel frustrated, to feel sad and scared, to feel hopeful, to feel connected. Feelings are our superpowers. We need boredom to feel our feelings. Feeling our feelings is how we can be ok. Because we are all going to be okay.
I think Claire is wrong, I think highly interesting , creative, thoughtful, loving and passionate people have the luxury and capacity to be bored. To think and muddle and rest and do nothing. Aren't we lucky?
i love you,
phoebe