➰sit in the swirl🌊
sit in your swirls
FRIENDS! How are you doing? The feelings are high in the world right now. We're in eclipse season, Cancer season + Pandemic + Social Uprising makes for ONE HELL OF A COCKTAIL FOR THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
I don't think it is any kind of revelation that as a mindful movement instructor I struggle with all things about feeling ~well~. Being ok in the world is my obsession, so many humans spend their lives feeling not ok. I dislike what my quiet mind has to say even though I'm a big fan of three big cleansing breaths. I'm just awful at it. I take in a breath and I feel the hesitation to sit with myself. I exhale and as things start to get quiet, my mind starts to chatter, just to fill up the silence. I take in another breath I can feel myself resisting the oxygen coming into my nose. To-do lists pop up, arguments I had with family at the dinner table 6 months ago, and the general anxiety that the front door is unlocked or the coffee machine is still on, or, or, or. By the third breath, it somehow feels a bit easier. By the third exhale I have captured a 0.360943 second of quiet. I did it! I meditated! I feel ok!
I spoke with my friend Michelle about this back in May during our conversation on Intuition. I had said to her "What am I more terrified of? Me? Or listening to me?". I dislike what my quiet mind has to say. So I show up and get quiet and I fidget and I squirm and I avoid my quiet self the best I can because I know what lives there. I show up with my best, knowing my best changes moment to moment. And I'm pretty ok at being ok.
Being ok is a gift. Forget great, fine, or wonderful. Neutrality is a gift, the grey area is aspirational, and if I or we can reach a moment of pause inside our minds when the swirl feels less wild, we're doing GREAT.
What are the voices in your head saying to you? What swirls of anxiety are there? What resistance do you have for showing up? What is the quality of that voice? And how do you work to shut it up for a 0.360943 second. It is so worth sitting with those things, our own internal wisdom, intuition, magic, or inner dialogue. It is worth feeling ~ok~.
Sit with your quietness, tune into what the voice is, find the things that work to make you feel ok. Maybe it's three-big-awkward-not-great-distracted-cleansing-breaths.
I love you all
xx
phoebe
p.s
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WORD OF MOUTH WILL ALWAYS BE THE SWEETEST MOST SPECIAL WAY TO SHARE ART, LOVE, BEING OK, AND CREATION IN THE UNIVERSE!!! ✨