I don't hate the internet, I hate myself š³
Hello sweet being, how has the multitude of feeling felt? In the paying attention to what I am paying attention to I have noticed a shift in myself. I don't hate the internet. I hate myself. The internet is not the problem, the reflection of others making me feel bad about myself is.Ā
What I see on my phone is not about me. I think that is the awful trick that is being played on us. Our phones promise connection and allow for expression of self, and itās not anyone elses problem how their expression of their selfĀ makes me feel.
The internet is not nasty, mobs exists outside the algorithm and the attention economy doesnāt live on our phones only and what other people want to do with their own lives isnāt 1. My business 2. My problem and 3. NOT ABOUT ME! The guilt I (we?) feel about the "bad things on the internet" are not internet issues, they are humanity issues and chucking out phones into the river (however badly I want to sometimes) isn't the answer. If someone posting about a win in their art, it doesnāt make mine less than, and if I feel that way that is my deep personal work. That is a trigger for something deeper inside of me and an insecurity of mine. I instead I thank my phone for giving my information about how something triggers an emotion in me and instead learn about myself and grow.Ā
The moral panic and fear we have over screen time, and the shame spiral ofĀ āam I good person for arbitrarily assignments myself X amount of time in front of my phoneā is just another reflection of the inner work.
So I donāt hate the internet or my phone or the app or the scroll. I hate the way it makes me feel about myself and that is the only thing I can take responsibility for. My feelings. It's not as simple as chucking my phone into the river but it feels just as liberating.Ā
Instead I think YOU ARE GOOD. The inner bits of ourselves that inform us of fear need to be loved. Catch me talking about the ways in which we are told we are bad (our phones, the internet, and the people inside them) and how to slowly shift our big beautifulĀ brain gears into GOODNESS in Augusts modules of INTO THE VOID. You can find the lecture + worksheet in the Patreon Portal (and also why find out why I feel YoungĀ Frankenstein is the perfect parable for creativity + love + compassion).Ā
Hamilton area people! I am having a studio sale with pal and original Okay Shoe Collaborator Ariel AKA Soft Serve pillows!Ā Ā I will have lots of sample pieces, stuff that didn't make it to print and lightly damaged goods as well as some art supplies! Come join us at the corner of Walnut and Hunter Sunday August 22nd 11am-3pm, masks on!Ā
big blessings and hope and goodness for all piecesĀ of ourselves!!!Ā
I love you
xx
phoebe
p.s
if you love the online friendship newsletter forward this to a friend who might like to subscribe or share an excerpt on social media and tag us/me/we @okayshoe xo WORD OF MOUTH WILL ALWAYS BE THE SWEETEST MOST SPECIAL WAY TO SHARE ART, LOVE, BEING OK, AND CREATION IN THE UNIVERSE!!! āØ