how to be alone š¦¦
sunrise alone
Hi friend, what is your relationshipĀ to being alone like? I haven't spent much time alone in my life. I could probably count the number of nights I've been alone in a house on my fingers after living with aĀ big family, long term partnership and roommates. The moment of solitude I had waiting for busses and sitting in introvertedĀ togetherness (writingĀ in cafes) has been gone for the last two years.Ā So for my birthday I just wanted to be alone.
I went on a self impostedĀ 48 hour residency that ended up being me wandering around the city, sitting in cafes, spendingĀ long amounts of time watching the ducks float in the lake and watching the planes land on the island airport. When I told people what my birthday plans were, to spend it purposefullyĀ alone, I was shocked that people were shocked.Ā This mission wasn't easy. I wrestledĀ with myself the entireĀ time to make compromises, to only go away for one night instead of two, I thought of cancelling a million times and when it came down to actually sitting with myself, the thing I craved so deeply, I opened my email, checked my phone, switched on the t.v. I got hot and sweaty when I said "no" to visitingĀ friends and family. This was too luxurious and too selfish and wanting to be alone on a day that people may want piecesĀ of you is too much.Ā
I forget how deep patriarchy is in my bones, that I am not even kind of far from the generational patterns that tell me to give to others instead of myself. The answer to breaking free of those chains is spending time waking up alone in a in a king sized hotel bed and any amount of freedom in aloneness we can find.
AND! ASLO! The results from my self imposed residency: I think I wrote a couple extra morning pages than usual. Being with myself in those moments meant not creating and instead just starring in the lake wondering how to be alone with myself more in my life.
Places to be togehter
1:1 Creative Advising spot for January are open! (also my prices are going up in 2022Ā š)
Okay Hang this Saturday Dec 11th @ 11am and Dec 23rd @ 7pm
I am BACK teaching IRL at GoodBodyFeel and I straight up cried before during and after class. Join me Tuesdays at 7pm for disco + dancing + cryingĀ šŗš»
ARTISTS WAY BOOK STUDY STARTS JAN 8TH!Ā (we will discuss artists dates/being alone)
Places to be alone
The bathroom (this is a "there are always 7 other people in my house", trick)
The kitchenĀ floor
Your minds eye
An art gallery
A king sized hotel bed (do it!)
The forest at 4:30pm/Golden hour
big blessings for aloneness
big loveĀ
xx
phoebe
p.s
if you love the online friendship newsletter forward this to a friend who might like to subscribe or share an excerpt on social media and tag me @phoebetay.lor xo WORD OF MOUTH WILL ALWAYS BE THE SWEETEST MOST SPECIAL WAY TO SHARE ART, LOVE, BEING OK, AND CREATION IN THE UNIVERSE!!! āØ