Morning pages are my favourite thing and also the most self generated drama in my life. Despite writing them Monday-Friday (I have said this before I will say it 68483 times again, weekend morning are for reality tv viewing an equally important part of the creativity process) I dread doing them. Almost every morning I roll my eyes and plonk down onto my couch, open my preferred notebook of choice, click my pink multi nib pen open and write “hi spirit its me phoebe…”. I know that if I don’t sweep my brain space I am gonna have to haul out the hoover at a later date, creative housekeeping to keep the channel clear and open and available. But I don’t like it. I’d much rather blast my eyes with my phone, drink 6 cups of coffee and cross my fingers I can write a poem later. But I have been on earth long enough that that isn how writing a poem works for me.
Artists are incredible at getting in their own way. In declaring perfectionism, or placing barriers around time and weather and feeling the just right conditions to make. While being creative means we see the roads around the mountains others might not, I also think that means we can build a mountain on the road in front of us whenever we want.
I talk about morning pages a lot because I hear so much drama around them. How many pages? Do I have to write three? What kind of paper? What pen? What notebook? Do I have to do them in the morning? It’s the perfect place to get hung up. A neat story to tell ourselves about why we can’t just do something.
What is actually happening in these moments is avoidance. Because if we don’t try we can never fail. If we don’t hit publish we can’t be rejected. If we don’t hang our painting in the gallery it can’t be reviewed. So much work going into protecting the parts of ourselves that, ultimately, I think, just want to be heard. To be turned toward instead of away from.
I obviously get all of the above because I just told you how as a grown adult women I create a lot of friction and drama about the thing I know makes me a good writer.
I just also think there is no such thing as the right time to create. The weather will never be good, there will never be enough time. The news will always be bad and you will sometimes forget the perfect pen at home. The audience isn’t full and there isn’t enough butts in seats.
But there is showing up anyway, there is trying a little there is writing three pages in the smallest journal or writing three pages in the largest curly script your arm can stretch to. There is no right time to create, but there is the bonk of spirit saying “go”. Because the inverse is so much worse. If we don’t hang the painting it can’t be admired, if we don’t publish the essay we can’t be seen, if we don’t share the magic elixir it can’t be drunk. If we don’t make our art we can’t be changed by it.
Sometimes actually we’re the drama. And I wonder if we let go of the the ideal, of the fear, of the what ifs or the hang ups the the very specific thing it needs to be so we can control the outcome and we just… let it be easy. Found the flow. Followed the spark. Lite the flame. Made the art.
Something to prompt you past the drama 👇
Its my 29th Birthday next weekend and I wanted to celebrate a little early with you all! Okay Oracle Decks are 1. BACK IN STOCK! 2. On sale for $29 till next weekend 💕
The Okay Oracle prompts your intuition, inspires your creativity, and lets you feel into that messy middle, the feeling of just feeling ok. I wrote the first edition of the deck back in 2019 and since then I have been amazed with how people use this deck! I’ve brought them from out of my archive for a couple weeks so you can get “unblocked” yourself 😉
HOW OTHERS HAVE USED THE OKAY ORACLE!
In their yoga practise
Before a run!
Prompt morning pages
Inspiring ceramics
At a gathering to inspire conversation
As a coaching + therapy tool
With their partner + friend to deepen connection
Thanks for reading the Creators Dispatch. A weekly essay about the creative journey! Here I write about being an artist, human, angry woman on the internet and living in the dumpster fire of a world that says not to make your art. If what I say here inspires you (or pisses you off 🥰) share my work with the group chat, or your best friends neighbour. Word of mouth is the most special and radical way of sharing – plus it helps put the Zuck 🏄♂️ out of business 👼
FINDINGS 🗺️
Greta Gerwig’s Vanity fair interview has been making its way through the group chats and omg 💆🏻♀️
my new fave ASMR on repeat
Creative biz nerdyness for the Ex Creative Director at Oatly
My time has come 💕 Sag season + gudetama memes 💆🏻♀️
xx
Phoebe 💕
*typos are left to reflect the fury passion and 3D humaness of being a passionate freak in the world – and you know not a robot *beep boop* I am just a human girlie living on earth with a mortal brain 🤸♀️
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