Last week I woke up everything morning, sat on my deck and drank tea and wrote my morning pages then I’d drink coffee and write for two hours. An indulgence in the creative process I gifted myself. Presence to sit with other writers and write. I scrolled through the pages and pages of words I crafted and marvelled at my own prolific writing.
This week I dragged my feet from bed, begged and pleaded with myself to write one less page than the last and scrolled on my phone for an hour.
Creating comes in cycles, like anything worth growing there are moments where we sit under the soil trusting the conditions of air water and sun will be right when we bloom. There are other moments the air is hot and thick and we rely honour own reserves to get through. But even with this knowledge in my belt it still feels shitty to have to power through, knowing that the antidote is the thing that stings to swallow.
Staying in the moment is fun when the moment is soft and kind and there are ocean waves. But to really stay in the moment means considering the actual moment at all time. Checking out weather app and planning to bring an umbrella, noticing hoe our stomach feels and its in knots what do we do to stay with ourselves. That sometimes the moment is dark and deep and your’e the only one in the moment. Running from it would be an even greater curse. To feel a feeling we actually have to feel it in the moment.
Just as fast as the wave comes in, the tide washes out leaving the beach even more perfect than you could have imagined. The conditions perfect for sailing the ocean of our minds eye again, the painting appears, the essay gets writing, the song and the tattoo and story clouding our minds eye feels clear. Knowing that everything is a cycle, everything is a storm.
FINDINGS ⛵️
Finally saw the Barbie movie and I think think I have ever been so moved by the people lined up wearing pink on a Tuesday night – people are so cute
play sims because it makes me a highly creative process
Making little things for the new little people in my life 🥹
Going to the water every night to look beyond
Listening to the trees clang together
big love 💕
Phoebe