Every morning I wake up and I open my little mole eyes and feel shocked by my lamp alarm clock shining in my face and I forget everything I have ever learned about being alive. I forget that I drink tea first in the morning. I forget that I do my morning pages to empty my mind into a page. I forget when or how I wash my hair. I forget I have chronic pain and I forget how to take care of it. I forget the things I do to feel good, or find or okay. I forget all the things I have learned to be true in this earth and spend the whole day trying to remember.
I spend the rest of the day trying to uncover what is true. I feel like an explorer searching through my sticky notes, reminders of past research I have uncovered to set future me on the right path. I remember tree’s have wisdom if we listen, I remember I brush my teeth, I remember to take pills and sit down and when to stand and I remember it all comes back to the body.
It feels really goofy to admit this because I am a movement teacher. I get up in front of a class or a zoom and I tell this truth I know in my bones to everyone, and I believe it so deeply. I can even tell you how to believe it in your body, I have made it my job to remember this truth. But I forget. Everyday. And everyday I have to come back to this truth in some way. Through a sticky note, or feeling so fucking far from my flesh vessel that I call in all the troupes to bring me back to myself and I take a deep breath in and remember until my nervous system is so on board with the idea that I ~know it~ and then maybe I can hold onto that truth for a little longer than 24 hours. That nothing I do externally is worth anything until I embody it internally.
Ways to remember
Trees trees trees tress tress. They’re my artist date this week 🌳
Studios that are so fucking radical I cannot believe they are real and could use your support to stay afloat rn, so you have space to come back to yourself after we can leave our houses/minds/bodies
ELMNT 🚴♀️
GoodBodyFeel // my home, my people 🦋 the first place I remembered
The Artist way book study is MAGIC! wow this crew 😍
It’s not to late to join us for week one! Recording + Slack membership included
Making art for nothing and knitting my little heart away!!!
Consuming art/making art! AKA Okay Hang tonight 🕯
I’m speaking at Hamilton Hive this year! My talk is on being Relentlessly You! and I am meggaaa excited. Tickets are FREE here
The first real real episode of the friendship love letter podcast comes out on monday (!!!!) for paid subscribers! To support my art and craft a sustainable art practise for us both consider becoming a paid subscriber for $3.35 a month 💌
big blessings for remembering over and over
i love you
phoebe