I got my first rejection letter from a publisher when I was in the 6th grade. My pitch was sent in a red duotang folder with three butterfly clips I cut my fingers on folding the pages in. It was a book proposal and sample chapters (I did my research on how to write a book proposal in the school librarty) for DIYs ANYONE – because everyone is an artist – could do. Basically the 6th grade version of the things I am still writing about today. My rejection letter arrive in a plain white envelope my Mum handed to me in the kitchen one day after school while my friends were over. I peeled open the letter, quickly skimmed the “we have decided not to accept this submission…”, felt the stab of rejection and a tear behind my eyes acted like it was totally cool nothing, and returned to the basement where we finished choreographing a dance to the latest Rihanna song.
Rejection and being an artist go hand. I wish they didn’t, but being an artist and not facing rejection is like being a stutman that doesn’t fall. Even when we aren’t putting ourselves out there there is the rejection we find in ourselves, the things that are not good enough to be brought out of the drafts folder or the judgment of a bad idea before its even left our brains. There is the rejection we face if we are brave enough to ever say “hey, look what I made”. The rejection of showing our loved ones when we are met with a glance up from the phone of “thats nice”, the rejection of not “enough” likes (which like – wow I could write a book on that) the rejection of not getting the show, the job, the book deal, the client, the feedback, the publishing offer. The artists life is rejection.
I don’t think there is any kind of simply just getting over rejection as an artist. And I don’t wish to develop a thick exterior where no rejection can penetrate me or my feelings. Nor do I think getting rejected over and over and over makes you less desensitized and better yet why would I want to be desensitized from my feelings.
Being a highly sensitive person allows me, and what I imagine allows you sweet reader to be so good at what you do – and create.
We hold up the success story of going viral and over night success as the marker for “making it” when we know also know the thousands of stories of the artists who were rejected hundreds of times before their work ever made it to a gallery, book store, shelf etc. That we have to be the one in a million to make making worth it. To be successful is to be rejection-less.
But this fable of the artist serves no one. Not you the artist or the people you think you need to convince you’re good enough. That your art is needed simply because it is. That rejection is the hurdle you’ve climbed over before and even when we “win” (artists cannot win, we are not running a race – more on that another time) we will face another “no” another time.
So while rejection is the artists life, I don’t think its about getting desensitized or the countless hurdles artists jump through to not get rejected – not making your art is a great way to avoid pain. Not making your art is a great way to avoid feeling, to not give yourself to pleasure of expression or even the opportunity to be rejected. How beautiful that artsits ever even try.
Instead I wonder, and wish for 6th grade Phoebe is to feel disappointed by our rejections. To feel sad when the world isn’t smart enough to hold our art. That the ulterior motives of bottom lines and not enough followings aren’t smart enough to see your brilliance. To feel emboldened and empowered by a door being closed right on our noses to know – You can reject me, but you’re gonna be embarrassed later. And then get up and try try fail again.
And lastly, may I remind you there have never been a time to create than now. 🪄
Findings 🗺️
Creative Advising clients! My books (finally) are back open for September! After a summer sabatical of no new clients I am so excited and ready to help usher your thing into the world
POSSIBLE OUTCOMES 🪄
💫 Finding a process to finally write your play + book + song
📖 Pitching clients for creative work
💸 Identifying money making opportunities/pricing in your creative biz
🤸♀️Feeling fucking fab sharing your creations
🍑 Just wanting to feel closer to your creativity😉 Getting good at feeling rejected
Speaking of rejection! I sent in a submission to a journal last week – cross your fingers for me, or don’t!
AND! Because I don’t need someone to say yes to me to say yes to my writing! Paid subscribers have been getting access to the essays I have been submitting to publishers 📖 Wanna see em?
This article on the climate crisis that is both palatable (doesn’t give me stress hives) and informative “Heat is not a metaphor”
The lastest
on tomatoes sandwichesPeep what I’ve been crafting with
Do You Ever Media launching fall 2023Summoning fall with my love for putting cinnamon in everything
big love, many blessing and many failures🪄
xx
Phoebe
Word of mouth will always be the most special, if you cannot monetarily support me right now consider sharing your fav post or quote with a friend or on sosh meeds 🥰
I have a rejection goal. Everytime I get one, I feel accomplished because it reminds me I'm pushing myself to show my work to the world! Love this post.