I have no resolutions. I have done little planning for the big things for 2022. I started the friendship love letter Jan 2020 with a big dollop of softness for ~new year~. But I am feeling more melty than any gentleness I have given myself before. I reflected only through scrolling through my instagram archive and spent the sticky days of the holidays plonked right down on my couch knitting a balaclava I saw someone on youtube make so I said me too. The only thing I want for myself from now until my soul flys off this rock, is softness. The only intention I am setting is the reminder to spend the time taking high quality care and attention to me and landing only where I am held. AND! This year I ask for the ability to bend. The bravery to wiggle and the spell of changing my mind. With being ok with fucking up or failure or not even wanting to try. I want to cast so spells of things to do but instead I hold onto the bravery to interrogate the feeling. And I think I can only do those things if I actually look after myself.
I pray for the uncaring of sitting on my couch because I want to read a book in the middle of the day and not shame spiral for being a bad worker at the end of my chapter. And that guilty feeling requires me to feel the guilt and feel okay with maybe not feeling okay and telling my nervous system I am neither good or bad for sitting on my couch in the middle of the day and to take a big breath and defend this spot on the couch.
I must go where my softness is respected. I refuse to give peices of myself to places or people who do not hold them tenderly. I pour my art into places that will hold it and not into voids that slip away where no one is even being asked to carry it or me and anyone or anything.
I wish to have the bravery to bend and to be open to changing my mind. For I make no resolutions! Only commitments to myself over and over and over again. π―
Places I am held
Have you ever heard of Boudica? Extremely inspired! Also maybe I die my hair red again?
Weβre Having Gay Sex - one of my fav pods recently because friendship and gayness but this episode is so sweet and full of love.
Making decisions with my comfort in mind first π radical
THE ARITST WAY BOOK STUDY! I had planned on writing about how much I love morning pages but essentially it boiled down to: βMorning pages literally changed my life and allows me to be an artist even when I donβt feel like one.β We start this Saturday ππ€
This meme in Marlee Graceβs newsletter this week that encapsulates all of the above (also Marlee Graces newsletter 11/10 always).
Places I put my art
The trees, the forests, with permission asked first.
In redistribution and my neighbours. A portion of paid subscriptions this month goes to stocking my local community fridge π
Here. In your inboxes. I am infinitely grateful!! The first paid edition of the Friendship love letter pod comes out Jan 17th, subscribe to listen and reminder there is 33% off subscriptions until Feb 1st! π