THREE YEARS OF WRITING EVERY SINGLE WEEK AND I HAVE LEARNED EVERYTHING AND NOTHING. I have learned it is better to try than not. I have learned I never want to be “good”. I have learned that this practise is process out loud and that what happens here is probably only ever half baked at best. I have learned that I gotta take it to the morning pages first. I have learned that writing isn’t just sitting at my desk. I have learned absolutely nothing. I have learned absolutely everything. I know nothing. I wish to never know at all.
Making bad art is an exercise and a reflex. It is the only thing we could ever do, and I would argue the only thing we are supposed to be doing. “Good” art isn’t real. Not to say good art is faked but to say that measuring anything up against good or bad is going to be a failure – every time. I didn’t set out to make this writing space good or bad. I set out to write.
Divorcing ourselves from the binary of “good” long enough to create requires a full uprooting of every seed inside us, each root system ties around our organs so neatly it feels like death to pull them out. But I also think it feels like death not to follow the spark, or to follow the spark only to judge it so harshly it never leaves your drafts folder. to not write every week just to try feels just as painful as would to make something good. To lets the demons trolls and gohsts of things I didn’t ask for to win the battle to not hit send, or to not sing while i walk my dog or to not doodle in the corners of every forms I have ever been given my the government.
Because the idea isn’t the idea. Its process, a deep trust in that process– the time, hikes, leaves fallen, busess missed, lovers kisses, candles burnt, empty coffee cups, lakes swam in, muddling and marinating and trying and fucking up and failing so hard only to realize you have the elixr in your back pocket the entire time – that go into creating.
I wonder what thew world would be like if parliament took a deep breath before starting for the day. If the world is so bad (and it is) wouldn’t we need our entire internal system on board. If these problems are so complex that over brunch we announce “well i don’t have the answer”, shouldn’t we exercise those muscles (creativity) that might be able to dream up that answer.
What we resource and what we have agency over informs that creative spark and our relationship with it.
So if you do anything revolutionary in this life. Make your art. Write your play. Doodle. Sing. Post your short film to tik tok and dance in the streets. We’re depending it ✨
🚨FREE WORKSHOP ALERT 🚨
MAKE YOUR (BAD) ART a workshop to slay the perfectionism demon that stops your big ideas from coming to life 🪄🧌🗡️🐉🧙♂️
🍊What if we shed the feeling of “not enoughness” and created a self compassionate creative practise? One that HONOURED your ideas + brain space 🍊
ART IS THE MOST RADICAL PURE THING AND IS LITERALLY LIFE CHANGING WORLD SAVING MAGIC. It is the most self compassionate beautiful thing anyone could ever do – is create. Because you and your art are already enough. 🪄🪄🪄
Join us on Jan 19th @ 7pm est to join a circle of humans wanting to create out loud together 🤸♀️
FINDINGS🗺️
every day in my morning pages I write “pay attention to what you pay attention to” and right now I am trying to pay attention to what resources I am using. To create, to write and talk to friends, to be a good girlfriend and partner, to notice what fabric feels good on my arms and thighs.
This time of year I hear lots of “cup filling” but understanding what that means, deeply to me, is important right now. So my findings this week instead are a whole lot of paying attention 🍵
thanks for being here, many blessings for the horrible shitty ideas and art we create from them
xx
Phoebe
Loved this !! I'm just starting my substack and aspire to put something out weekly!!
Especially loved this: "Divorcing ourselves from the binary of “good” long enough to create requires a full uprooting of every seed inside us, each root system ties around our organs so neatly it feels like death to pull them out"
That's exactly what I've felt the last few months of starting an online presence. I'm not perfect, I barely know anything, can I really help someone else with my content??
Thank you for this inspiration to keep going 💕