I have been doing my best to write 1000 words a day for the last 10 days and it is very simple to trick yourself into feeling serious if you say you’re writing 1000 words a day when it is in fact the goofiest thing you can do. Although I say I am a clown I often slip into the belief that I must be the best clown and that all great clowns before me will admire me. But I do not wish to be remembered, I only wish to play. I wish for the transformation that writing 100 words a day brings and I wish for the adventure of growth in being a clown.
There has been a hawk sitting on the roof across from me when I write in the morning and I keep meaning to look up what a hawk visiting you each day means but I know what it means. It mean keep going. It means that although I am special I am not to take myself too seriously and I am special in that making it out of bed another day is a miracle. The overwhelm of decision to keep going or to decide what to do with a day is too much when you also have art to make and things to expel from our minds eye.
Sometimes I think nostalgia is boring. I prefer to manage the cards we’ve been dealt but dreaming of new ways of being is in the air. Summer in my hometown feels like a Steven King novel and no matter how old I get I can’t seem to pull myself from the sticky sweat of riding your bike along the train tracks.
I know the answer is also the method to get there. The answer is to get out the sticky notes, the answer is chart paper, and blank walls, it is glitter and champagne and divorcing yourself from the existential spiral and to instead feel small enough in the world that it is liberating. When I made a mistake my music teacher would always tell us to keep going. That mistakes aren’t worth tripping over and that finding your way back to the music was always going to be a more interesting journey than sitting there clicking your heels until the song finished without you.
So today I write write write knowing it is the silliest thing I can do but also the only thing I can do and therefore I can only be silly and only stay in the now. The lastest netflix reality show, the long walk to the cafe that lets me bring in my dog and the search for a chocolate croissant. I remember that I am a clown and that clowns wear glitter, show up late or too early and when they trip that audience cheers them on.
PLACES TO PLAY
Celebrating Indigenous History Month with my continuous reading of Braiding sweet grass and donating to The Woodland Culture Center 🍓
An ASK! I’ve been wondering what the next iteration of Friendship Love letter is and always I would LOVE UR HELP! How would you describe the Friendship Love letter to a pal? Reply to this email or leave a comment below 🥰
Bought a large easel and chart paper to but all my brilliant ideas
Still only reading romance novels really 🍓
🪐Okay Shoe Artist and Residence O.Z Sanders illustration thesis show 😍
THIS SATURDAY AT REC CENTRE! A whole bunch of play and weird (like i make this face when I am barfing out emosh!) We are tapping into our unique brain space and finding the tools to unleash our freak flag out into the world – to find the space to be Relentlessly You! THIS Saturday @ 11am PST/ 2pm EST sliding scale 🐚
NEXT UP!! CREATIVITY IN MOTION: Inspiration in the body with GoodBodyFeel. They asked me describe my vibe for this class and I used the words “supportive clown cheerleader meets Miss Frizzle oatmylk disco” and I stand by that. June 25th @ 11am, we start moving, we land in discussion.
Wanna work through it together? coaching + creative advising is here to zero in on all these bits
big love + many blessings
Phoebe