I’ve been undergoing an evolution. But when I think about, really think about what this metamorphosis is, is nothing new. Its a full return to me – the stuff I have been crafting and creating since the concept of a Phoebe came into the world.
Sundays I meditate and clean my sheets and listen to the astrology of the week ahead and ask the planets and stars and GI tract to be kind to me this week. A wish and prayer that unravels by Monday at 2pm. That a curse or a planet brings upon but never myself. That looking to the external for salvation and for blame.
I catch myself moving again myself. Against the sticky notes and value exercises and therapist notes. Pledges I make but cross my fingers behind my back.
Because when it comes down to it.
Actually.
I know exactly how to move. Exactly the path in front of me. I have all I seek in GI tracts and weeks ahead and stars and planets.
I guess the question is the noise in between. The memos I didn’t ask for that intercept inner knowing and ease and action. My friend Alexandra asked me a couple weeks ago “how can it be easy?” or the alternative far more terrifying statement “let it be easy”. And that is what makes up inner knowing.
In my prayers are days of wishing to be the fun accountant in the office – grey skirts in even grier building built along the 400 highways and bagged sandwiches. And while I am sure accountants (of which I know many read this newsletter hi hello) have complex inner lives. The dream/wish/urge to be have whatever nervous system re-wiring required to be someone that doesn’t want to make shit and bare their soul on the internet on a weekly basis – is there (not always, but it is there).
But actually. If I let it be easy. It is easy. That urge, that translation to take ideas from spirit and spin essays, weave prints, craft marketing strategies and alchemize visuals. Actually if I let it be easy I see beauty where others let it pass them by.
I translate the big business that I spent a decade in cursing and existing and swearing to never return to – only to find myself in the familiar but different territory of person that brings peoples ideas to life. And I am loving it.
So no – I am not growing. I am not in an evolution. I am in a deep remembering. Of who I am and what I am here for (and subsequently not here for).
Why do me make art our business? Because fucking not. Because other wise it hurts. Death by not letting it be easy.
Findings 📍
WHAT IF BUSINESS FELT MORE LIKE ART? a free.99 workshop from my brilliant co-creator (
) and I 👯♀️ Join us to reimagine your business as art, and your art as business 🤸♀️🌸
this week on the pod I read my high school diary and so far no regrets (I learned many lessons for 15 year old Phoebe – I love her)
I have been going into what can only be described as a David Lynch level of chaos gremlin to facilitate the strokes of genius I have been having. Uptemp ethopian jazz IS required and this is the current writting soundtrack
I have been OBSESSED (if you cannot tell) with the National Gallery’s Open use library. I am about to get SO ANNOYING! (jk I already am 😈
I love you all
Phoebe 🌷